


The Eyes Have It

by Dallas



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Sentimental
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 18:00:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2279373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dallas/pseuds/Dallas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She had always done what was expected of her, lived up to the family name, but the one thing she wanted for herself was given to the one who had rejected it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Eyes Have It

**Author's Note:**

> Reposted from my Livejournal account @ 'self-preserving'.

It was unnaturally cold, even for the Christmas season, though the chill didn’t bother her. In fact it had been a long time since she’d even cared to keep out the cold. So she stood in the snow, hidden by darkness, the tips of her boots just inches from the light that spilled towards her. At first she’d just wanted to see the house. There was no definite logic to her actions she just felt compelled to see where they lived. But the glow from the downstairs window had drawn her closer - like a moth to a flame - and she found herself at the edge of the shadows. There was warmth exuding from within the house, almost as if the light was an embodiment of it. Her fingers flexed with eagerness as she resisted the urge to reach out and bathe her cold hands in such radiance.

No.

She couldn’t risk being seen, but at the same time she found herself incapable of walking away. Curiosity had led her there in the first place. The name Tonks had caught her eye in the Daily Prophet three days earlier and she’d cringed, sending the paper flying across the room. But the name had stayed with her throughout the day and well into the night. The Tonks family was tainted with muggle blood, a disgrace to true wizardry and the good name of pureblood families.

And yet... she wondered about one in particular – the one who had turned her back on everything. A dull pain began to grow inside her. She longed desperately to see what had become of the sister that discarded her so abruptly. It had been some years since she’d heard anything about Andromeda and now that the name was back in her thoughts she couldn’t just let it go. So she’d summoned Kreacher in the dead of the night - knowing just the right way to treat him - and put him to work tracking down her sister, on pain of certain death if he were to tell anyone what was going on. It had taken the sour House-Elf only a day to track down the Tonks family, despite the private lifestyle they appeared to lead.

The problem was once she had the information she had no idea what to do with it. She’d spent two days in her own little world, distracted by the options she had to choose from. The fiery urge to go straight to the address was waylaid by the knowledge of what would happen to her if she was caught fraternising with a blood traitor. Conflicting thoughts driven by two separate logical views played havoc on her already fractured mind. The young girl hidden beneath the mess of a woman cried out for her younger sister, but the mind of the woman sneered and taunted the attraction to a mudblood lover. In the end it was her younger self that won out.

That was how she ended up standing in the snow outside a house she shouldn’t even know existed. She’d only meant to catch a glimpse of her sister, see if they still looked alike or something equally sentimental and seasonal. Though as she stood in the dark, watching her sister decorate a Christmas tree, she realised she’d neglected to check one point before she left.

On instinct her hand slid downward, just below her stomach.

She hadn’t anticipated seeing a child. There was no reason why she would have expected Andromeda not to have children, but it hadn’t crossed her mind in the three days leading up to that moment. It seemed unfair. She had always done what was expected of her, lived up to the family name, but the one thing she wanted for herself was given to the one who had rejected it all.

With interest she watched the small child as her sister crouched down on the floor to play with her. They smiled brightly at one another, making a game out of the mess of unused wrapping paper on the floor. It looked like one of those ridiculous Christmas cards. Part of her willed the child to start crying hysterically for no apparent reason and for Andromeda to get so frustrated that she started screaming at it. After all, wasn’t that what families were really like? If she was honest with herself - which she rarely was - she would have admitted it wasn’t just the familial bond that she’d been longing for. She wanted a child, at this point any child... even a half-blood.

For a fleeting moment her pain turned to malice as she considered how easy it would be to kill her sister and that filthy mudblood, then simply take the child to raise as her own. Her actions would likely lead to some handy wand work when it came to her husband, as well as other family members, but that didn’t make it impossible. Even as the thought began to fade she found herself withdrawing her wand. Though for what she had no idea. With her wand firmly in her hand, ready to attack if necessary, she watched the toddler move at an unnatural speed towards the window. She stepped further back into the darkness, focusing solely on not being seen for the moment. But then Andromeda picked the child up and sat at the window with her, pointing outside at the falling snow as the intrigued little girl smacked her hands against the glass. The pain she’d felt in longing for her sister was nothing compared to the child’s appearance on closer inspection. The hair kept changing colour when the girl shook her head, it had been off putting at first but actually became endearing after a while.

It was the eyes, however, that caught her attention. They were such beautiful brown eyes. She would know. She’d only seen them reflected back at her for twenty-three years. Her hand pressed hard against her abdomen, though her expression remained impassive. Inside she wanted to scream until she’d expelled every ounce of breath from her body. There was a child in the world, one that would grow up a stranger to her, and that child had her eyes.

She stumbled backwards, tripping herself on roots and shrubbery. All she wanted to do was run but her legs didn’t seem to be in sync with her brain. An outdoor light flicked on and she struggled to stay in the darkness as she made her way to the street. Once she could stand properly she turned to apparate without really caring where she ended up.

In her mad haste she found herself in her old bedroom at Grimmauld Place. Immediately she collapsed to the floor, laying in a crumpled heap in the dust. With every heavy breath she waited for tears to come. The tears that she knew should come with the pain she felt. Because for the first time in her life she truly wanted to cry so much that she passed out from exhaustion, she wanted to express all the pent up emotion like some spoilt little brat.

But there was nothing.

There were no tears building against her eyes, there was no desire to blow up everything Andromeda ever touched, and there was no longing clawing at her insides. There was nothing any more. She was empty, she was cold, and she was alone.

And there was nothing.


End file.
